The Best You Can Be
By: Missionary Team
Everyone will struggle with bad habits. They are a part of human nature. In my experience, they have an origin, and some are a response to stress, anxiety, or fear. One that I struggle with a ton is swaying back and forth. Even if I was sitting on a stationary chair, I would rock back and forth, back and forth. Looking back, I would see my dad rocking back and forth standing while he would hold my little sister. I remember watching him and imitating beginning to sway back and forth in church. This is now something I will do in awkward conversations, when watching a thriller movie, or even simply doing homework. And I think the most difficult part is not knowing that I’m doing it.
Therefore, step number one in being freed from a habit is recognizing them. Habits use a different part of the brain than making decisions. Therefore, when you begin, it is not a choice, but once it is recognized, you can choose to quit it at that moment. Sometimes what will help is simply asking a friend if you do it all the time. But the ACTION STEP is naming that habit. Mine is swaying side to side. What is your’s? Once it is in the light and you can name it, you know what you are fighting. In battle you need to know who you are fighting or else you will lose every time. Also, now you can take that to the Lord and specifically ask him to help with_____. Another important part is recognizing when this habit takes place. Who are you with, what are you feeling? You’ve got to know where you will be attacked, or you will be ambushed every time.
Step number two is creating your “Why.” Fr. Mike Schmitz talks about this in one of his Sunday homilies, and it has rung true for me. But to succeed at something you have to know why you are doing it. He used the example of a marathon runner. When they are in the midst of running the marathon, the first attack will be directed at them not being able to finish the race. But they can overcome that attack. However, as they continue, the attack becomes directed not only if they can finish, but at “is it even worth it... Why?” This is the same for any goal you have in your life. If your goal is to destroy a bad habit, then you will be asked in the midst of temptation, “Why fight?” Therefore, the ACTION STEP is to make a list of all of the ways this habit doesn’t make you the best version of yourself. Then, make a list of how not doing this habit will make you the best version of yourself. You have the willpower, now you just need to believe that this choice and sacrifice is what is best for you.
Once you have done the two previous steps, now it is time to take these desires before the Lord. Honestly, no matter how silly the habit, biting nails, swaying back and forth... Jesus wants all of you. Ask Jesus to truly help you with this battle. As many know, when you ask God to help you grow in a virtue and be healed of a vice, then He will give you opportunities not to. This means Jesus will allow you to be tempted. So the ACTION STEP is to beg God for awareness of this habit, that you may choose to reject it. God loves you, He wants you to be the best version of yourself, as the Catholic speaker, Matthew Kelly says. Let God into the small and big things.
Finally, something that has greatly helped me has been having someone to hold me accountable. I have had a fellow missionary literally point out all of the times I find myself swaying back and forth. When I don’t have the awareness or will power, that person will be able to speak truth to you that you know you desire. Honestly, that could even be God’s answer to your prayer: someone to hold you accountable. The ACTION STEP is to share a habit in your life that you are not proud of, and that does not make you the best version of yourself with someone you trust. If you are struggling to trust anyone, this might be a good first step in being vulnerable and beginning to trust a person in your life.
You were made for greatness. There is a person who died for you, not only that, but that person is the God of the universe. If you were worth dying for, then I know you are able to overcome any bad habit, whether it is porn, masturbation, alcohol, eating too many sweets, not working out, or even something as simple as biting your nails. God wants what is best for you. He wants you to be the best you can be.
ACTION:
STEP #1 Recognize a habit that does not make you the best version of yourself. And name it. Write it on a piece of paper.
STEP #2 Make a list of all the ways this habit does not make you the best version of yourself. Then make a list of all the ways not having this habit will make you the best version of yourself.
STEP #3 Beg God in prayer for awareness of when you are being tempted, and the grace to reject it.
STEP #4 Share this habit with someone you trust. Be real.
