Let me be clear: Divorce was never, ever an option for my husband and me, nor was it even in our lexicon. But there was a time in our marriage when tensions were high, feelings of affection were low, and things had generally broken down. Communication was terrible, and we had ceased assuming the good intent of the other. For my part, I had lost respect for my husband, whom I felt was not "a real man" (gosh, it's hard to type those words!).

That’s it, in my book. Those are the only reasons not to discern religious life. I’m writing this because I remember the plethora of “reasons” I invented to not discern. I remember my intense desire to run away from the question “Is God calling me?”

I may not be a psychiatrist but it doesn't take an expert to point out when a relationship is toxic. In my own life, I have both experienced and witnessed unhealthy relationships along with the toxic pains and issues that arose from couples being on different pages.