Thomas was a 22-year-old Hispanic-American male born and raised in New York. He entered the room and sat on the edge of the most comfortable seat in the space. He explained that it was his first time seeking a therapist. I noticed his breathing seemed a bit heavy and his leg was shaking.

Not long after that I woke up with severe cramping. My husband had already left for work and I was completely alone. The cramping would come and go, and it would feel like the pain experienced during childbirth. There is nothing in the world that will ever compare to that physical torture, but the mental pain of knowing what was happening and the spiritual pain of feeling like God had abandoned me was crushing.

Anxiety and panic course through our veins as we struggle to make sense of a world that eludes our grasp at every turn. This occurs in situations like:“How could God let this happen?” “Why won’t these pills make me happier?” “I’m earning more money, but I feel empty”

It’s easy in these days of fear, panic, and isolation to be angry, with our family, our leaders, or our God. It’s easy to say, “Woe is me!” as you are stuck at home on your couch with nothing to do. It’s easy to just “go to class” and watch your favorite streaming service afterwards. It’s easy to just give up. But that’s not what St. Thomas Aquinas did, and that’s not what we should do either.

I suffer from both depression and an anxiety disorder. When I was diagnosed with these illnesses, I felt a self-imposed pressure that begged some serious questions: If I am a woman of faith, how can I be so anxious? How can I be depressed? If I truly trust the Lord, how can I feel this way?

If you are going to get out of depression, you need to let yourself feel the things you are actually feeling and let those feelings move you to do safe/productive actions. Workout, sing, play music, punch a punching bag, laugh, etc.

In a split second, it was too late for such a plan, as I slipped off the rock that I was standing on and into the rushing currents. Now, at this moment, it would have made the most sense for me to freak out. Yell!?! Scream for help!!! DO SOMETHING!!!! But I didn’t. Instead, I was noticing the trees around me, the beautiful sky, and birds flying overhead.

GOD SAVED MY LIFE by leading me to a few young guys at my new church…I soon realized that it was because they knew who they were and they knew where their worth came from. They knew they were sons, sons of the living God, their true Father.

I had a good life; I was a good kid. But the battle I faced with depression filled me with shame. It was exhausting to pretend I was fine, joyful and the bubbly life of the party when I was really crying myself to sleep several nights a week.