Let me tell you, dear reader, this is crap. I did not need a guy in my life, I didn't need a relationship, and I didn't need those toxic people I surrounded myself with. And what I'm trying to do here is tell you neither do you. You are complete on your own. You are fulfilled without another person

A thought occurred to me, to what end? Why was I actually doing all these things? I saw how fast I had gone from my wrestling season being over right into trying to achieve the next thing. If I couldn’t be perfect in that area, I might as well go be perfect somewhere else right? For the first time, I realized that there was no satisfaction in any of those things I had been trying so hard to achieve. I finally got everything I wanted. Yet still, there was something lacking in me.

Growing up seemed inevitable, filled with hardships and failures, but In that moment I was reminded that God sees me, takes care of me, and remembers the desires of my heart…

I slipped into this dangerous cycle of maintaining control and creating future plans for myself. I allowed myself to continuously daydream and visualize about my future timeline which was nonexistent in that moment… I was pretty confident in the plans I had made, but something just felt a little off. Deep in my heart, I knew something just wasn’t right.

Anxiety and panic course through our veins as we struggle to make sense of a world that eludes our grasp at every turn. This occurs in situations like:“How could God let this happen?” “Why won’t these pills make me happier?” “I’m earning more money, but I feel empty”

I am not so unique in the history of salvation. Recall, for example, that God promised Abraham, an old man married to Sarah, who was equally aged, that Abraham would have “descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky.” (Gen 26:4). Abraham and Sarah actually laugh at this, but when their son was born, they named him “Laughter” (Isaac).

I remember thinking, “Wow, this is so much better than freshman year. I feel like I’m going to spend the rest of my life thankful that I’m not a freshman anymore.”