I'm Worth More Than This World Addiction,AmazingNation,Depression,Faith,Hard as Nails, HN Blog
Hard as Nails Ministries
I'm Worth More Than This World

I'm Worth More Than This World

By:  Mission Team August 25, 2021
#Addiction, #AmazingNation, #Depression, #Faith, #Hard as Nails

Growing up I’ve had a lot of anger, but I always bottled it up. I desired to be the “good kid” so I never took risks or stepped out of my comfort zone. I was just content with living a mediocre life, going along with whatever came my way. High school was where I started really struggling. What helped me push through and get my anger out was playing sports and weightlifting. I started to put all my self-worth into how well I was doing on the team. So when I started getting injured and tore my shoulder Junior year Summer, I fell into a deep depression.

All my dreams of going to a state championship, getting a scholarship, and swimming in college went down the drain. At this time I started having a lot of suicidal thoughts and really had no more self-worth. I turned to drugs and any adrenaline high I could get to try to push the pain out of my mind. However, none of my coping methods helped and my mental health was just getting worse.

Somewhere in the middle of all this mess God started slowly showing himself to me in small ways that I didn’t recognize at the time. God made me slowly realize I was going down the wrong path and I needed to change. One of the more memorable moments for me was when I was prayed over by a missionary and my shoulder, which had been in a lot of pain all day, suddenly just stopped hurting. I just broke down and knew I had to change how I was living. I also saw how much joy people had when they gave their life to Christ and I developed a desire to have the same true joy. A bible verse I found that had helped when I have been feeling down and want to give up is Matthew 10:29-31:

“Are not two sparrows sold for a small coin? Yet not one of them falls to the ground without your Father's knowledge. Even all the hairs of your head are counted. So do not be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”

I’ve started to understand that you can’t put your worth into things of this world because they will all pass away and don’t matter as much as you think they do. Realize you have a God who loves you very much, no matter what you’ve done.

I’m so thankful for my parents and my close friends for being so supportive of me. I’m also grateful for God giving me an increasing desire for a deep prayer life with Him. I would not still be here if it wasn’t for God helping me through the rough times even if I didn’t ever feel his presence. I still need to work on growing my trust in God and learning to accept it because even though I know he has my best interest in mind I don’t always believe that in my heart. I’m also still struggling internally with my worldly desires and my spiritual desires and right now I have a foot in both. All I can do is fully surrender and put myself in God’s hands and know that he will give me the graces I need. 

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About the Author Mission TeamThe mission team is made up of writers within the HN team who serve for a time with our ministry to Awaken the World to the Power of God's Love. Through their efforts, their vision of making a world where no one suffers alone is an encouragement to many hurting people of all ages. 


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