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The ER Kid

The ER Kid

 
By:  Mission Team March 23, 2021

Have you ever seen those movies where there is a big family and everyone has a stereotype? Like the oldest is put together, straight A’s and a clean room. The second oldest is always sneaking out and getting in trouble. The younger ones are just there for comedic relief and making messes. 

But do you remember how there was always one kid who was always injured or sick? That was me.

 Big family, big house, and a big yard; everyone is bound to get hurt sometime! But for some reason, it just happened to be my turn most of the time. There were a few big incidents: the thirteen stitches for my hip, staples for my head, a weekend stay in the hospital over Easter weekend for dehydration, and many more. But beyond all those legitimate injuries, I also had a reputation for over exaggerating the smallest of cuts and bruises.

I was a kid raised on M*A*S*H and other TV shows depicting doctors and patients. I was obsessed as a kid with doctors and medicine and hospitals, so much so that I was always looking to add a bandaid to the smallest cut or nick on my arms and legs. 

I would be so proud of every and any scab or blister, hoping it would turn into a scar. My dad always told me that “scars are tattoos with stories”, and I clung to that.

 I knew way too many medical terms for a nine year old. My self diagnoses were getting out of hand. If I had a stomach-ache, I’d come to my mom gripping my side talking about having appendicitis. If my leg hurt, I’d cry about dislocating my knee and tearing my tendons. If I coughed or had any trouble breathing, I would say that “My esophagus is asphyxiating!” To be sure, I was a very annoying kid, but it was my job to keep my family on their toes.

I realized not too long ago that I actually had a rough time expressing myself and my feelings growing up. It all started making sense that I always made a big deal out of the littlest cuts because those were visible, and since no one could see my invisible hurts, I clung to the visible ones. I had to beg for healing for what they could see. I struggled a ton as a kid with loneliness and being hurt by family members, but I never expressed these, and overall was not very honest about my feelings of sadness.

Because people expected me to be a happy kid, I had to be a happy kid. But I was hurting so bad and just didn’t know how to show it. 

I knew if I fell down some stairs, or my hand was caught in a door, that my mom would hold me and kiss my head until my tears went away. But if I were to cry for a reason she couldn’t see, I was met with a short hug and dismissal as she or the rest of my family declared they “couldn’t help me if I couldn’t tell them what was wrong”.

To be completely honest, I can’t say I blame them. I can see much more clearly now that when a child is crying, it can be super frustrating when they don’t tell you why. After all, people can’t read minds, and how are we supposed to help that kid? But I don’t think I really realized that back then. What I thought was that they just didn’t care.

 

 

So my childhood was filled with me being overly dramatic about every cut or bruise, and running to my mom for the comfort I knew would be waiting for me there. I think I used that comfort and care for my body as surrogate care for the internal hurts that I couldn’t express as a child.

I think what it comes down to is this; the next time a kid seems to be crying out for no reason, looking for pity and comfort, running up to you and refusing to tell you why, I ask that you would let them onto your lap and hold them as long as they need. Some feelings are way too hard to express when you don’t know all the words in the world yet. And sometimes their hurt on the inside is much worse than any cut or bruise they have ever had on their skin.

 

 

Photo Credits:

https://unsplash.com/photos/-JUIieIDu54
https://unsplash.com/photos/OroUwAwLs-8
https://unsplash.com/photos/pIltvcnqsfU
https://unsplash.com/photos/ZyiT0dUPKy0
https://unsplash.com/photos/KQCXf_zvdaU
https://unsplash.com/photos/HF4Hy8jFhEY



About the Author Mission TeamThe mission team is made up of writers within the HN team who serve for a time with our ministry to Awaken the World to the Power of God's Love. Through their efforts, their vision of making a world where no one suffers alone is an encouragement to many hurting people of all ages. 


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