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Put Down the Phone, Pick Up Your Heart

Put Down the Phone, Pick Up Your Heart

 
By:  Mission Team April 13, 2021

During my junior and senior year of high school, I became highly addicted to my phone. I was afraid to be without it; it was my shield. I primarily used three apps that I would always run to when I woke up, when I was bored, when I had any extra time, and when I was about to commit to finally going to bed. It was like all I did was school, work, and scroll for hours upon hours.

I always told myself that I could change, I could just go to bed without having to check. But I wouldn’t allow myself to do it. I gave it up over and over until I was finally forced to give it up. It seemed almost impossible to maintain self-control.

When I became a missionary, there was limited time for phone usage. Not only this, but our phones were not even on us. They were kept with someone else. At first, I was nervous to let someone else hold on to what made me feel the most safe. But I wasn’t going to let this make me discouraged. Actually, I was quite thrilled with the idea that I wasn’t going to be using my phone whenever I wanted.

As soon as I didn’t have my phone, I felt so relieved. I kinda didn’t even notice how much I used to rely on it. Instead, I was constantly with my community. I realized how little I felt lonely. In fact, I wasn’t really lonely at all anymore. I saw how much of myself that I had put into my phone. It was my everything, but now, it wasn’t worth it anymore. The safety that I thought I was getting from my phone was the place that I would hide. I was hiding from my problems, hiding from others, and hiding from myself.

The effects of spending countless hours on social media were becoming more clear as I spent more time away from it. I found all of my worth in what I saw. I agreed to the lies and fell into the confusion of the contradicting ideas. I started to slowly hate myself and realize I wasn’t who I wanted to be. I saw things about myself that I wanted to change, but I couldn’t. I was so dissatisfied with everything. I was also very lonely. If I had nothing better to do, why not go back to the thing that I want? I saw what I wanted, but it was unattainable. I never ended up happy. However, going back every time seemed so attractive.

Living in the lies was so comfy. I kinda didn’t want to be free.

But, once it was away from me, I started to realize who I was. I had never experienced such clarity in my life. I saw what I truly desired. I wanted to feel loved. No one could do that through what I invested my whole self in. I could only receive it through my Father and the truth. I could no longer isolate myself, but it was exactly what I needed. I started to see the real world. It became easier to differentiate what was truth and what wasn’t. I couldn’t use it as a distraction from my problems anymore, and it was time to face what I had put behind a screen for so long. Finally, I was able to taste just a bit of freedom.

Through this experience, I’ve been able to grow so much, not only in my faith, but in the realization of who I am. It’s amazing how much you can learn about yourself when you can’t run back to the lies anymore. There’s no more hiding. You have to see yourself and understand who you are, even if you’re scared to look. But, once you do, you start to see how the wounds cut deep, how things have hurt, and you end up leaning on God to help you heal. Healing can be a process, but God has so much in store for you in that time.

 

Photo Credits:
https://unsplash.com/photos/412ZAk065Q4
https://unsplash.com/photos/6wdRuK7bVTE
https://unsplash.com/photos/mE85V5I34JM
https://unsplash.com/photos/buymYm3RQ3U
https://unsplash.com/photos/lKZ3U43w2bs



About the Author Mission TeamThe mission team is made up of writers within the HN team who serve for a time with our ministry to Awaken the World to the Power of God's Love. Through their efforts, their vision of making a world where no one suffers alone is an encouragement to many hurting people of all ages. 


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