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Finally Missing My Mom

Finally Missing My Mom

 
By:  Mission Team May 5, 2022
#AmazingNation, #Faith, #Humility, #Live, #Wisdom

You know how some people say they’re spiritual but not religious? Well, my family was sort of the opposite. I grew up surrounded by people who were religious but only in the structure of it and not the heart of it. Because I am a more emotional individual a lot of the time, it was hard for me to feel loved. There is also this idea that kids should be close with their moms, but that was such a pie-in-the-sky abstract type idea for me.

 

This last summer was actually the first time that idea became real for me. I spent most of my summer with these two families - one in Michigan and one in Chicago. In both of these families, I saw these mothers loving each of their kids with a deep, tangible affection, and that really started healing my heart. It was so beautiful to see these mothers’ love so readily available and visible. It wasn’t until the end of the summer on my last night in Chicago that I really received hope for my relationship with my mom though. I remember going to bed that night in the basement of this family’s house with this deep longing and an ache for a mother’s love so deep it was manifested in a physical pain. I missed my mom for the first time in my life. I went to bed that night with the hope that the feeling would have faded by the morning since most of the time, I can sleep off any kind of a depressive state. 

 

The next morning, the ache had not faded. I went to Mass with that family for the last time in that stay. We arrived at the church and settled in like a good Catholic family. As Mass began, the priest walked in wearing white vestments (for anyone who doesn’t know, white vestments mean it’s some kind of special feast day or memorial that we’re celebrating that day). The priest starts preaching the homily on Our Lady of Mount Carmel - it was her feast day! He keeps going back to this idea of Mary as our mother, her deep love for each of us as her children, and how deeply she desires for us to join her and her Son in Heaven. I. Was. Floored. God came in clutch and was all like, “Homie. Chill. I got you covered on the whole mom thing.” I was so convicted that day in my need for a relationship with Mary as my mother and in my need to heal and build my relationship with my earthly mom.

 

I am so grateful to have had the struggle with my relationship with my mom and to have had that deep ache. I was able to call a friend and ask her what it was like to miss her mom who had passed away a few years earlier. It was a beautiful bonding moment for the two of us. I also was given the opportunity to be more deeply convicted in the need for Our Lady as a mother. I would not have had that without the initial struggle to relate to with my mom. I can truly act on the words of Christ, “Behold your mother.” (John 19:27)

 

So, what am I doing about this? Well, this is something you can do too. I live on the other side of the country from my mom, and it makes the whole mother-daughter relationship thing kind of difficult, but I call her at least once every two weeks (but more likely every week) and chat with her for at least half an hour. Every time before I hang up, I make a point of saying, “I love you” (saying those three words together is not common in my family, so that means a lot to me). I am also going to be consecrating myself to Jesus through Our Lady. This is super exciting because with my first consecration to Jesus through Mary, I did it flippantly, meaning that I didn’t care much about it. This time I have the chance to act out of my conviction and a new-found love for Our Lady rather than out of a dry sense of obligation.

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About the Author Mission TeamThe mission team is made up of writers within the HN team who serve for a time with our ministry to Awaken the World to the Power of God's Love. Through their efforts, their vision of making a world where no one suffers alone is an encouragement to many hurting people of all ages. 


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