A Dating Tale AmazingNation,Depression,God,Live,love, HN Blog
Hard as Nails Ministries
A Dating Tale

A Dating Tale

By:  Mission Team October 29, 2021
#AmazingNation, #Depression, #God, #Live, #love

Listen all ye gathered, to a tale I will spin. There once was a very handsome young man. He grew up well-mannered and polite, as his mother taught him well. He knew the world but was unfamiliar with it. For example, his friends would talk about getting high, but he himself had never done that.

Eventually the time came for this young man to go to college. He met many people while there, including one particular girl toward the end of the first year. Returning home for the Summer, the young man would think of her beauty, but feel as though he had no shot of dating her. He didn’t even know if he would see her again, as it was a very large campus and he had gone most of freshman year not knowing who she was.

As Summer neared its end, the young man packed up his things and moved back out to his campus. During his first week back, he saw one of his friends and went over to say hi. Then, who should appear next to him, but the very girl he had been thinking of for four months! Nervous and caught off guard, the young man made some surface conversation and ran off.

Well, the week went on, and his friend invited him to get some dinner. During the course of their conversation, it turned out that the beautiful girl had told him that the young man looked “Really good. Like REALLY good.” The young man’s friend was looking out for him also, and had made plans for all of them to go see a movie the next day. Overjoyed, the young man went to bed, heart racing, thoughts swirling at the potential of getting to sit next to her the next day. And that is exactly what happened.

Soon, the young man and beautiful girl were hanging out, meeting up in parks, going over to each other’s dorms, meeting their roommates and friends. They would go on dates, help each other out when they were sick, watch movies together. The two were having a great time. The young man had always heard of other people having girlfriends, but had never had one himself. This was so special to him! The atmosphere was electrifying. It seemed like nothing could go wrong.

One day, the two of them were doing work in the library. As usual, school was no match for their desire to get to know each other, and the conversation topic turned to big events (concerts, football games, etc.), and the best way to stay drunk the longest. In the midst of their discussion, the girl related that during their concert she had been too successful at this, blacked out, and woken up embarrassed, back in a house with her old group of friends. Immediately, the young man started feeling insecure. His head began to spin. Questions and images of her with other guys began flooding his head. “Of course, she’s probably been with other guys. I mean look how beautiful she is. Why would I think I’m special…” he started thinking.

He left the library table that day distraught, unsure of what to do. After calling his mom and talking with a couple friends, he came to the conclusion that the best way to progress was to ask her the questions on his heart, but in a gentle way, so as not to accuse or shame her. And the young man did just that. It was a hard conversation, but he greatly admired the honesty of the beautiful girl and the relationship went forward. However, something did not sit right with the young man, and he could not shake it. He became increasingly anxious, unable to eat well, struggling to focus in school.

Unsure of who to turn to now, he went to a priest. Faith had never been a huge part of the young man’s life, but he was so conflicted that he was willing to try anything to figure out why his heart felt so torn.

Over the course of a couple meetings, the priest was able to talk the young man through the situation. You see, in speaking of her past, the girl revealed that she had been with several guys. That was part of what was haunting the young man, due to insecurities that he had developed unknowingly over the years. But what was really at the root of it, was that she only regretted being with some of them. While the world was telling the young man that that is “fine,” that you are being a judgmental pig if you have a problem with that, that woman are free to express themselves in any manner they please, with whomever they please, the priest was able to establish a pillar of truth.

“Young man, people sin all the time. It is the way of our human nature. No one in this world is perfect, and you cannot set your standards that high unless you want to be dating Jesus. We hate the sin, but we love the sinner. However, when the sinner is still attached to their sin, it can become harmful for both of you. In entering into a relationship, your goal is to discern marriage. Marriage is the total, free gift of oneself to their spouse, which cannot occur if the other is still mentally caught up in past relationships. It is not wrong of you to feel this way. It is not mean if you end things.”

And so it happened. The relationship was ended. The young man was deeply upset. He liked the girl so much, and it hurt him to let her go. But it had to be done for the betterment of both. Years later, the young man was reflecting on his life. Ways that he had hurt and been hurt. That he had used others and been used. He realized that as great as his relationship with the young girl had been, he had used her. After thinking a little while longer he decided to call her and apologize.

It had been several years since the last time the two had spoken. A ton had happened in each of their lives: accomplishments, deaths, sorrows, triumphs. After speaking to each other and catching up, the young man told her what had been placed on his heart. He apologized for using her and hoped she would forgive him. The girl was slightly surprised. She had never had anyone speak to her about such a thing and didn’t feel she had been wronged.

Years of living heavily in the culture has clouded many minds. To feel wronged when no wrong has been done, and to be oblivious when you are treated as a means to an end. The evil one works very subtly, and in ways that you might not process at the time. But I would encourage you, with the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, to reflect on your life and ask: is there anyone who I need to apologize to? He will let you know.


About the Author Mission TeamThe mission team is made up of writers within the HN team who serve for a time with our ministry to Awaken the World to the Power of God's Love. Through their efforts, their vision of making a world where no one suffers alone is an encouragement to many hurting people of all ages. 


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